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Man vs. Vibrator
by Michael Webb, Founder -
VirtuosoLover.com
Man vs. Vibrator
Q: Why do women
get married?
A: Because
vibrators can’t mow the lawn.
In very recent
human history, discussion of women’s sexuality has become increasingly
acceptable, and her gratification is becoming just as important as a
man’s. We are studying the female body more closely, unlocking the
secrets to pleasure centers of which we had little previous knowledge.
You can practically get a vibrator on every street corner (it’s true,
they sell them at American Apparel). And vibrators are vastly superior
to men at producing orgasms. Why? Read on.
- Vibrators
are not obsessed with their own penises. The vibrator’s sole function is to get a woman off. It is not
frantically poking away at her most sensitive bits muttering, “Come
one, come one,” under its breath because it wants to get through her
stupid orgasm as quickly as possible so it can get onto its own
climax.
- No vibrator
has ever complained about the way she smells.
Just as men are always obsessing about their size, women are worried
about their vaginal odor. The fact that it doesn’t naturally taste
like passion fruit doesn’t help the insecurity. If you’re
uncomfortable with cunnilingus, that is fine. Just don’t make a big
deal about how much you hate the taste/smell, or she’ll never be
able to get wet with you again.
- Vibrators
maintain a rhythm. They
don’t gently stroke her for a minute or two, then audibly sigh, and
increase speed and pressure for another minute or two, and then
again audibly sigh and repeat until her clit feels so attacked it’s
running in fear. Contrary to general male practices, this is not
the proper method of stimulation. The rhythm and pressure need to
be consistent. However fast or hard you do it depends on the woman
and the day, but whatever it is, keep it going. If you get too
jerky she’ll be thinking, “What the hell is he doing?” and not, “Oh,
this feels so good.” You want relax her, allow her to appreciate
the sensation, and if you’re not creating a soothing rhythm it
interrupts her concentration. However, if she’s screaming, “Faster!
Faster!” go ahead and speed up.
- Her
vibrator does not beg her for sex. It just shows up and does
its job when she needs it. If she’s had a long day, or she’s in the
middle of something, or if she’s just plain tired, her vibrator will
not whine or complain or try to guilt her into using it. Her
vibrator patiently waits for her to be ready. When she is
feeling horny, her vibrator has not irritated her to the point of
being inutile in relation to her pleasure. And her vibrator has
probably lasted longer than most of her relationships.
About the author:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of "The
Virtuoso Lover", teaching men how to become exceptional lovers.
Unfortunately most men have no idea how to make 'out-of-this-world'
love, which leaves women frustrated and disappointed. Learn to be one of
the rare men that can satisfy women both physically and emotionally by
visiting: The Virtuoso Lover.
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